I'm not afraid.....

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road......

Yes, I am not afraid to admit I am in the verge of tears...I know its ok to cry a little...share a little...hate a little...but why is it that I always feel the guilt afterwards? Am I really that kind of a person that always see the best in people? maybe?...

it's just hard being in this situation right now...when you know its the thing you want the most but so unsure if you have the right guts to prove you can do it..the ways to make it right...the moves to know your on the right line...

I know some of you see me as the perfect little girl...the one who can be the crying shoulder...the positive thinker...but how many times do I feel not worth it? sometimes I think Ive done things just to prove that I'm not that perfect...but hey,I know I'm not...I know there are some desires that I want...the thrills that I'm craving to taste..someday somewhere I know I'll achieve it...with Gods blessing too...

I have to think positive...it's the only way I could survive because I know...God will not give you what you cant handle...yes..I'm positively sure , 100% certain...that everthing happens for a reason...from here on I know my faults, my weakness, my strength, my iman....I'm glad Allah gave me this peace of heart...and the strengh to carry on...Thank you Allah....

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony....

I am a passionate person...my love and care for someone,does not come and go...it grows...imagine a vine tree...the seed at the bottom, with a stick as a support? imagine that seed as my love for you and the stick is me as a support...yes...i love to support people...i made it my goal in life to help people as much as i can...if not people, animals will do too...yeah..thats how passionate I am, and I'm not sorry for it too..:)



thats you with me in the middle .... :)



                   

Relax, I ain't going back to that now
All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW
Cause I ain't playin' around
There's a game called circle and I don't know how
I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't
This fucking black cloud still follow's me around
But it's time to exercise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

What? I'm heart broken? Nah!!! nope...its just that there are things that I want now but still unsure if its real to have...I would be lying if I told you that I'm not sad...those feelings? you cant just chop them off ...you cant just ignore it doesnt mean anything to you..but yeah..its worth every pain and patience to get me to be a better person that I am now...do you really think i'm that shallow to let it be thrown away? because for all its worth, nothing is this world will have me whole and reach the center of my heart,(whish is, ehem...by the way....the top of the support)...except God...unless...you manage to marry me...>_<

Picture this,

these events in my life that happen and what Ive learn from it...

Event 1: A long term non-contact but still okay relationship
Imagine this vine growing slowly..slowly...you feel it inside you..its like an itch..but you know its still there...you never let go even its been a long long time since you get to know the feeling again unless u need them or they need u...for all its worth..they always remain the longest...I thank you for those whose been there for me...for better or worst...

Event 2: A broken relationship
Imagine this type of vine, as it slowly grows,getting looser everytime...., it grips a little...grow a few torns here and there...slowly and slowly as it tries to hold on...but it cant seem to hold...and as slowly as that...it has to be let go...because how much can you take? you cant make everyone love you as much as you cant love everyone much the same right? the best way? is to learn to let go...you cant chop it off because it has been a part of you...because by chopping it off, the axe will hit you too right? like a friend of mine once said..take baby steps...maybe it will not take the pain away instantly, but it doesnt mean you cant learn from it right?

Event 3: An on-going hurtful relationship
This type of vine is the one still growing...but with torns...as much as it hurts...you need to hold on to it since its the only thing you have...a piece of life that lets you know that your human...a piece of life that make you feel alive and worth it...you just have to hold on untill the moment will come when the torns will stop growing and the vines will hold you tight and say,its alright.....

sigh*

there are more to these event that what i make it sound..

but hey, life is no nintendo game right?

you dont have many chances to take...

only the choices you make..

so be wise and careful..

be strong and have faith..

if you fall stand up again.

.if you need help..just ask...

because nobody

not even a lone-ranger like me...

likes to live alone...

so never be afraid

:)

-I'm not afraid-